Dave and Alice met
through friends of a friend,
Making happy prelude
to the life they would spend.
They got to know one
another over late-night TV,
Watching Time-Life
commercials for music CDs.
They sat side-by-side,
hands near, barely grazing,
Each ascertaining, the
other was amazing.
Dave hesitated to
get serious too fast,
He had school to
finish, and future plans to cast.
So, he maintained
some distance, to place a safer bet.
But from Alice’s
perspective Dave was playing hard to get.
Then one night while
watching “The Best of Soul Train,”
Dave found himself
feeling, that he no longer, could refrain.
He turned in toward Alice,
moving face to face.
He placed a kiss
upon her lips, so hard she had to brace.
Alice was bewildered,
by the passionate kiss,
Having never before felt
in life, such unbridled bliss.
The kiss opened-wide
the doors, in their couple-ship,
They began to plan a
life, that their future would equip.
They found
themselves a condo, for cohabitation.
A little place to
build a home, and mutual admiration.
Excitedly they moved
right in, as all their dreams were forming,
Dave stopping for a
moment, to buy Alice a housewarming.
He bought a lovely cactus,
the soft and fuzzy kind,
And tucked a ring into
the pot, for what he had in mind.
He placed it on the
front seat of his little car,
And drove it home to
Alice, it wasn’t very far.
He arrived with pot
in hand, dropping to one knee,
Alice nodded as he
said, “Will you marry me?”
She heartily
accepted, thrilled to know she’d be his wife,
They left for dinner
happily, to celebrate their life.
When they arrived at
supper, Alice felt a little itch,
Scratching on her rear
she uttered “son-of-a-bitch.”
They ordered wine
and gave a toast, to mark the special day,
Excitedly, Dave let
her know he had something more to say.
“Guess why I chose a
cactus?” He asked his fiancée,
“Because they can survive,
on even the harshest days.”
“When we go through
hard-times, and we surely will,
We’ll get through
them, you and I, always, forever still.”
Alice’s eyes watered,
from Dave’s loving speeches,
They were also tearing
up, from the itching in her breeches.
By the time the wine
was gone, and dinner platters bare,
Alice hardly could
sit still, shifting in her chair.
They got the bill and
paid it, little itch becoming big,
Alice longed to
scratch, but feared the scene from such a dig.
When they got back to
the car, Alice removed her pants.
Upon gazing at her
backside, Dave knew the cause, perchance.
A mixture of
emotions, came rushing to his face.
Seeing where the
cactus sat, before Alice took its place.
Alice understood as
well, letting out a boisterous laugh.
The sweetest of Dave’s
sentiment, had caused this crazy chaff.
In good time the itch
would heal, leaving stories for years to come-
of Grandpa’s great proposal,
causing rash to Grandma’s bum.
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