Miriam's Canoe

 
The sound was unsettling.  Adam never cried.  In 10 years of marriage Kate had seen Adam cry on only 2 occasions. The day that he had fallen off the ladder repairing a thatch roof in Peru; and day they had eloped.  This was different.  These were tears of helplessness.  The kind that accompanies impending grief.  When they got the news of his mothers’ condition last month, Adam refused to accept it.  But Kate knew the ruthlessness that was about to be unleashed on their family intimately.  She had suffered the same great loss just 18 months earlier, when her own father passed away suddenly.  There had been days recently that she found herself sitting in her sunroom, gazing at his urn and the little statue he had carved for her.  It was in those moments, realizing she was talking to him, that she was unsure where the grief ended, and the crazy began. 
 
The doctors had thrown around some very scary words when Miriams’ tests came back; malignancy, advanced, Stage 4, metastasis.  This was serious and Kate knew it.  She also understood that Joe and Miriam were quite wealthy and could clearly afford options that others less fortunate might not have.  Adam was so certain that with their resources Miriam would simply assemble a team of the world’s most prestigious oncologists.  They would come up with a treatment plan, utilizing cutting edge technologies.  Those and Miriam’s uncanny luck, were a guarantee that she would beat the cancer that was ravaging her. 
 
Kate had to admit that Miriam was extremely lucky.  It sometimes seemed that everything she touched turned to proverbial gold. She won every contest she entered.  She had once found a 2-carat diamond ring at a Nieman Marcus and 2 weeks later when no one claimed it, it became hers.  She bet on the horses when Joe went to the track knowing nothing of horses, she always won.  She spoke often of winning the lottery before she met Joe.  When Adam asked her about these things, she said, “It is not in good taste to brag about one’s good fortune.”  She was lucky.  But this was different.  This was Cancer.   They understood that things might not be okay this time.
 
Kate knew that Miriam held her at a distance.  When she and Adam met in Peru in 1982, they were both young and idealistic.  As volunteers for the Social Mission Coalition, Kate wanted to change the world, one third-world village at a time. It was more complicated for Adam.  As the son of Joseph and Miriam Goldman, he’d had every opportunity that money could buy.  He’d attended only the most prestigious prep schools.  In fact, everything in his life had been about prestige. He socialized only with the upper crust from well-renowned families. They were members of the most upscale country clubs.  His extra-curriculars were handpicked to place him with elite and influential athletes and academic minds.  This ensured his attendance at Yale where he studied law, just as his father had.  All choices aligning with Miriam’s master plan for his life.  Adam just wanted freedom to choose his own path.
 
In truth, Miriam liked Kate.  They got along, and she had respect for the fact that Kate had been a good wife to her son.  Despite this, she struggled to accept the fact that they had not yet had children and had never completely gotten over the fact they had eloped.  For that reason, there was always a bit of a wall between them.
 
They walked up the familiar pathway of Adams’ childhood home. Kate had always loved this place.  The property was beautiful, with the greenest of grass.  Daffodils grew in rings around the bases of the trees that lined the driveway, forming a natural and welcoming archway. There was a poetic, dreamy quality to the scenery here. Kate carried a pot of chicken soup as she entered the foyer of the brick home.  She knew that Miriam had not been able to stomach much lately, and hoped the soup might offer a bit of nourishment this afternoon.  She took the pot straight to the kitchen to rewarm, and left Adam a few minutes to spend alone with his mom.
 
When she walked into the family room a few minutes later, she found that Joe had gone to great lengths to make the room a comfortable place for his wife’s convalescence.  Gone were the stiff leather couch and sofa that previously greeted guests.  In their place, an oversized recliner and sofa that were much more comfort focused.  Miriam was wrapped in a warm blanket, feet up in the taupe recliner, a word search puzzle-book on the table next to her.  Kate offered her mother-in-law a kiss on the cheek, asking her how her morning had been.
 
Miriam looked at her daughter in law, seeming to decide how much she wanted to share and said, “I am okay I suppose.  I am not sleeping so well. I keep having this same awful dream.  I am almost afraid to go to nap for fear that I will have it again.”  Kate responded, “Oh no, nightmares?  Do you want to talk about it?” and to Kates’ surprise, Miriam did.
 
“In my dream, I am walking up the side of a great mountain. There is fog everywhere and the trees are so dense that the forest seems black.  I am alone and I don’t know where I am. As I walk the fog gets heavier and I cannot see more than a foot in front of me.  I focus on my feet to make sure that I am on solid ground.  Suddenly, a torrential rain starts to fall.  It rains so hard that within moments the river breaks free from its banks and pulls me in.  I get swept away and I cry out -  Please! God! Help me!  I can’t swim! Suddenly I hear Gods voice say, ‘Do not fear – I am sending a canoe to carry you to the other side.’ I look for a canoe, but the water is overcoming me.  I am being swept away fast as the rains continue.  I go under, drowning.  Then I wake up.”  Miriam looks down, her voice drops to a whisper as she says, “Every time I sleep, I wait for the canoe” when she looks back up, Kate can see the tears in her eyes.
 
“Oh Miriam!” Kate said, unable to find words to comfort the woman.  Adam embraced his mom saying, “It’s going to be ok Mom!  Miriam nodded unable to conceal the trembling of her upper lip as she turned to look out the window.
 
That night as Kate and Adam sat down to dinner, Kate couldn’t stop thinking about Miriams’ dream. She knew what needed to be done.  She wasted no time in putting her plan together.  “Hon, she said, I have been thinking that it is important for your mom to have another woman to talk to.  I was planning to go back over there tomorrow.”  Adam smiled at his wife, “That’s why I love you so much!  You always know the right thing to do!  I think mom would really appreciate that.”  “You think so?  She and I have always been friendly, but this is…. personal, you know?”  “Kate, you are the closest thing to a daughter that my mom will ever have. The fact that this is personal is exactly why you are the right woman for this.”  “I hope so” she thought.
 
The next morning Adam slept in, but Kate awoke with a purpose.  She rose and got dressed and headed for the sunroom. “Hi Dad. I love you,” she said to the urn and grabbed the carving from the shelf next to it. Placing it into her pocket she headed back upstairs, and kissed Adam on the cheek. “I’m heading to your mom’s hon, bagels are on the counter.” She left for Miriams’.
 
Miriam was sitting in the kitchen that morning sipping some tea.  “Good morning”, she said excited for what she was about to share.  “Well hello Kate!  I didn’t expect you this morning is everything ok?”  “Yes, everything is fine.  I just have something on my heart. Kate said.  “Yesterday when you told me about your nightmare it reminded me of something.  Could I tell you a story about my dad.”
 
“Well yes of course dear” Miriam responded, intrigued.
 
“I was born on Christmas Eve.” Kate said.  Miriam nodded. “There are some special mementos from that day. The Christmas stocking that they placed me in, for example.  A simple gold ornament, a gift from the hospital which is hung first on the tree every year.  But my favorite is the one my dad made from the trunk of our first Christmas tree. He carved a little piece for me. Shortly before he passed away last year, he gave it to me.  I didn’t understand until yesterday, why he chose this to carve. Now I know.” Kate pulled the carving from her pocket and placed it on the table.  “It was meant for you.” 
 
Tears filled Miriams’ eyes as she looked down and realized that sitting before her was a small wooden canoe.  “Oh Kate!  You’ve brought the canoe!”  She opened her arms, inviting Kate into an embrace. Closing them around her both women began to cry. With every tear that fell, a bond between them grew.  A bond that both had longed for over the course of a decade.  A bond that neither knew how much they needed.
 
As they wiped their eyes, Miriam said, “Kate it’s time for truth. I am dying.  I won’t be here much longer. You’ve given me a powerful gift, a sign.  I have a secret that has been hidden away, and I’m called to entrust it to you. Come, let’s sit.”
 
The women moved to the family room settling onto the sofa. Miriam breathed deeply and began. “In 1924, a child was born in Berlin.  Her name was Anna Braun.  Anna’s father was an officer in Hitler’s Army. In 1943, he was stationed at Auschwitz.  Anna’s father was very stern and ran his home with very strict rules where his children were concerned.  They were not to wander outside the home.  They were not to fraternize with the soldiers, and under NO circumstances were they to speak with any of the servants that entered the home in their striped uniforms and yellow stars.   Anna however, had a free spirit and soon grew bored of being stuck inside the family quarters.  She longed to be outside, running through the grass, the warmth of the sun upon her skin.
 
 One day, a young servant girl about her age, happened in the house to gather the laundry.  “Hello,” she said, “I’m Anna. What’s your name?” The girl looked only at the ground, answering timidly, “Lea”.  Anna continued to be friendly to Lea, bringing her bits of bread, as she looked very hungry.  From this charity a deep friendship grew. As the seasons passed, Lea became sickly, and Anna began to ask questions. Lea spoke to her of the sharpshooters that manned towers, trained to shoot on site anyone who dared leave their boundaries.  She described the horror of realizing that the showers were some sort of chambers intended to kill.  As Anna learned what was going on beyond the gates of the family quarters, she became afraid for her friend.  She determined to do something.
 
Kate was riveted by the story her mother-in-law was telling and listened quietly.
 
Miriam continued, “Anna’s opportunity presented itself that Summer.  She’d been selected to attend a 2-week art program for young women in Paris.  Her idea was dangerous.  Desperate to help Lea she moved forward.  Anna asked Lea to meet at 6 am on the morning she was scheduled to leave.  That morning, Anna handed Lea a suitcase. Lea was confused.  “Take off your clothes” Anna commanded, removing her own.  Lea was stunned.  “Go On!  Hurry!” she said.   Anna dressed in the striped uniform and yellow star.  Anna handed Lea her Blue dress and overcoat.  With black ink, Anna reproduced the numbers from Lea’s arm on her own. 64872.  Lea dressed.  “Lea, you MUST keep your sleeves down, no matter how warm it is!” said Anna.  Lea nodded.  Anna hugged Lea, “Get on the train going West - do not get off until you get to Paris Lea. Then just go – London? Madrid? America?   Clothes, money and my identifications are in your bag.  Find your way to safety.” 
 
Lea protested, “But Anna – you will…”
Anna interrupted, “I’m Johan Bauers’ daughter.  When the time is right, I’ll expose myself and they’ll release me.” She smiled.
“So, I got on the train.” Miriam said.
Kate gasped, “You are Lea?”
 
 “All of my life I’ve said I won the lottery.  My name drawn from a hat made me the Officers’ laundress.  It was pure luck.” Miriam said, “Kate, I have carried this secret for a lifetime.  That heaviness spills over from a person onto the people that she loves.  It has spilled over from me to Joe, to Adam, and even to you.”  A thought gave her pause, “Isn’t it funny how our dreams speak to us?  I know you thought that my nightmare came from a fear of dying.  I’m not afraid to die. I was prepared to die in 1944 but Anna changed my fate. No, I drowned in my dream due to the burden of my secret.  God promised me a canoe, and you my girl, YOU showed up with a canoe!!  Nothing less than a message from God to unburden myself from the waters that held me.  You have given me peace so I can move on!”

Kate was dumbfounded, “I have so many questions.” She said.” Who were your parents?  What happened to Anna?  Did you look for your family?”
Miriam responded, “Now, now there will be time for that.  I will leave you with some basics, and when I am gone, you and Adam can begin to build the history together.  He will need something to focus on. It will be a legacy that you can share with your children. For there must be children.” She smiled.
 
“Miriam, why keep this secret for so long?  Why not tell your family?” Kate asked.
Miriam closed her eyes as a pained expression crossed her face, “What if she didn’t make it?  I couldn’t bear it.”
 
Three months later, Kate, Adam and Joe sat down in the living room.  The memorial had been beautiful.  The most prominent community members had paid their respects to the amazing Miriam Goldman. She was finally at peace.  Kate put her hands in her pocket feeling the wooden canoe in her left hand and the pregnancy test in her right hand.  She pulled both out and sat down on the sofa to tell the men the tale of a remarkable woman named Lea Levy and her legacy.  The luckiest woman they had never actually known.
 
 
 
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